Meet my ohana ☆ Mahou no Monsters !

I've decided to let my eyebrows grow out.

Really not what this post is about at all, but you know, I've been without them for at least five years now, so it's a little bit huge for me and it deserves a very big mention. That said, moving on.

Let me introduce you to:

Insert some enthusiastic standing ovations right about here. 

It's the name we came up with for our group. In the beginning we thought of it like a gyaru circle, but for street fashion. Things changed a little bit as we planned though, but what the heck, it turned out a lot better. 

So it's Primadonnagirll, me, Pastelbat, and Thecarebearfag.

Hello, nice to meet you.

This is actually one of the best things that have happened to me in 2013. We've been talking about starting this project for almost a year, but we've all been too busy for different reasons, so it just didn't happen immediately. But a couple of weeks back, we decided to just go for it, and contact a convention, asking them if they could make some space for our first appearance as a group: A street fashion panel, with a Q & A at the end. 

That's sort of what this whole project is about - sharing and spreading our love for street fashion with people that are curious, and taking them to the dark or bright side, depending on what kind of fashion they like. 

Our panel, photoshoots, collaborations with clothing brands, clothes-swap picnics and other events are all things we have in mind, for the future. 

Can't tell you how nice it is to have this thing started. 

We actually contacted the convention just to have a reason to kick our own butts. I took it upon myself to design a logo and a tumblr page, several weeks back, and I if I could make a PowerPoint as well, since I just have a part time job and no school to get to yet. So I sort of named myself web captain iro. 

Of course I ended up spending several hours looking and saving and crying over pictures for the Visual Kei part of the presentation because, because. Otherwise I worked quite quickly. Anyway!

We all looked through it together, made some changes, and quickly put together a little picture to throw on tumblr. Done and ready for ConFusion! Our first panel was a great success, especially for being completely new and kind of announced and advertised last minute. And by that I mean literally like two days before. Not great planning on our part. We actually rehearsed just once, thirty minutes before getting on stage. My MacBook had 5% battery, Jözz was still in her bishounen Code Geass cosplay mode, Emilia was freaking out, squeaking that she wasn't going to go through with the panel and almost crying because thought she'd lost a bag with a Metamorphose necklace, Clara appeared out of nowhere and started hopping around in her underwear changing clothes, while I was killing my hand trying to write us all some notes to go with.

Thinking about it, it's actually kind of a miracle things turned out great, despite bad planning.

A lot of improvisation and adrenaline, always does the trick.

We were really happy to see so many people in the audience. I know we've all written this a million times, but thank you so much for coming. It meant a lot to us!

Have some love: 

♡

Then next, just this Friday, we dragged the 156 pin badges Pastelbat has been sewing by hand for the past few months, homemade headbands and devil horns, some headbands I made, pretty much our combined bodyweight in stuff, basically, to the Japanloppis in Hallonbergen. 

Here's Jözz and just a small piece of all the crap we put on that table. Glorious.

Maybe not the same thing as the panel, no. But also a lot of fun! And insanely crowded. And loud. Most of all really, really warm.You know it's serious business when even I get warm enough to cry because I'm pretty much a walking ice cube, normally. 

Thank you for coming and saying hello - =͟͟͞͞ ( ꒪౪꒪)ฅ✧

We'll be sure to keep updating about where we'll go next. You can keep up with us on our tumblr riiiight about → here ! 

Now as usual, this post is getting kind of long, so just one more thing. I have to mention our mascot.

Let me quickly tell you the whole story behind it. As you may or may not know, I'm kind of a big fan of mr. Ramsay. Slightly obsessed with his different cooking shows and recipes and whatnot, which I apparently am not good at hiding. So, on my birthday, my girlfriend got me the best gift I have ever gotten; A golden frame with a picture of Gordon Ramsay with a halo and angelwings. 

Since my birthday was October 24 and we were leaving for the convention October 25, I kind of immediately decided that I'd start bringing this glorious creation with me on my future trips, and take pictures of him to document where I've been. When I showed him to the others, he just became our mascot in the matter of two seconds. 

He even matched the wallpapers in my hotelroom. Pretty neat. 

Thank you Nellie, you're a beautiful genius. ( ♥ ).

To wrap this up, these are my best friends ya'll. I'm so happy to have them in my life, and I have so much to thank them for. Doing this with them is really a source of happiness. So I'm looking forward to see what the future has to hold. I'm sure it will be awesome because they're awesome. 

Oh, the cheesiness. 

Goodnight / morning sugarpies! 

Over and out. 

Life lately

Feels like my life has gone from a constant existential anxiety attack to a completely messed up cloud of happiness and a bright future at the blink of an eye. Not even exaggerating.

Now time for confession hour. To be honest, since last time I thought I was getting back on my feet, once again I haven't been very good for a long time. I just haven't felt like sharing too much online, and I've chosen to always try to focus on the positive instead of the negative. But even so, all of it has really been too much. I've been away from school for over a year, when trying to work out a plan to get back to studying all I've been met with is "sorry, we can't help you if you need home studies, we don't take lazy students" kind of. Well, they didn't actually say lazy, but that's how it felt.

I hate it when people say that, think that. I'm not lazy. In fact quite the opposite. It's just hard to explain with words better than "I have no strength left" and that makes it difficult for people to understand the situation.

Hence why I've chosen not to talk too much about it.

What happened is that I "hit the wall" so to speak. I'm a perfectionist and I always have been. I needed to have the best grades, needed to constantly do great things, make my parents proud, be skinny, be liked, work on my personality, not be so awkward, be better than I could be. I got sick, I got better, I realized just how extremely neurotic I was and how bad it was making me feel, bipolar, realized just how tired I was getting. I just couldn't take it. Then suddenly I found myself unable to get off the bus one morning, and since then it's been a long road back to being able to get off that bus.

I have talked about this before, I know. Writing this to refresh my own memory.

But! Now to the less depressing part; 

Guess who's starting school in January? 

The meetings I've had with my old schools have had me crying and leaving the room within ten minutes, so when we contacted another school, I was expecting the same thing. But me and my wonderfully awkward dad who was trying to support me by telling me "imagine you're stabbing your old bullies and the headmaster, I do that when on the train to work in the morning, makes me feel strong" went in there, and thirty minutes later I had signed up for four classes starting in January.

Swedish B part 1 and 2, Japanese B, Religion. 

Let's fucking do this shit, pardon my rude excitement. 

This is how I feel right now: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

I'm so, so grateful I actually got the oppurtunity to take the time to recover properly and get back on my feet. Let's hope it stays that way. Last year, when I switched to a new school and program for the first time, I was rushing it and taking decisions without being ready for them. It obviously ended badly. But this time, I really think I'm ready. Positive, positive! 

A lot of other exciting things have happened as well, I met my lovely Nellie, ConFusion, finally launhed the project me and my besties have been too busy to get going for way too long, but I'll write more about it later. 

If you want a sneak peek, go say hello to my street style group and ohana: Mahou no monsters. 

I just really wanted to share this before anything else, because the stones that have been lifted off my shoulders were so huge, they're worth a post of their own. So here it is. And I think it's about enough yapping now! 

A cheesy quote to end this post; 

As long as you don't give up completely, it'll all work out and be worth it in the end. 

And here's a look from the other day because I look quite happy and posts are more fun with pictures. And maybe "life lately" makes sense with "well here's how I've looked lately" ?

Goodnight lovely people ♥♪

P.S. I don't have spell-check on this computer so I do apologize for English screw-ups I might have missed in all this spontaneous writing.